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主题：
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作文评析：The Spring Festival |
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内容：
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The Spring Festival is the most important festivals in China.People buy all kings of food before the festival comes.For example,fish meat vegetables sweets and so on.Because all of the family members will return.
In the festival ,the children will put new clothes and maybe someone will get the gift--money;People can go to park to watch Dragon Dancing.On the eve of the festival some people watch special programmes and others will sing and dance until night.But when it is 12 p.m.they will say Happy New Year to each other.
我 想 请 您 帮 我 修 改 一 下 并 打 分 满 分 30 |
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提交人：
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jasmin
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时间：
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5/27/2002 14:4:31
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主题：
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作文评析：The Spring Festival |
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内容：
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The Spring Festival is the most important festivals in China.People buy all kings of food before the festival comes.For example,fish meat vegetables sweets and so on.Because all of the family members will return.
In the festival ,the children will put new clothes and maybe someone will get the gift--money;People can go to park to watch Dragon Dancing.On the eve of the festival some people watch special programmes and others will sing and dance until night.But when it is 12 p.m.they will say Happy New Year to each other.
我 想 请 您 帮 我 修 改 一 下 并 打 分 满 分 30
评析：这篇作文思路比较清晰，比较符合英文的表达习惯，应该是说你的英文写作水平还是挺不错的。
以下是一些你需要注意的在英语表达上的细节：
1，The Spring Festival is the most important festivals in China.句子主语是The Spring Festival,表语是festivals，这是明显的主语和表语的单复数不相同，应该改为The Spring Festival is one of the ......。
2，People buy all kings of food before the festival comes.有一个小笔误，kings应该是kinds；the festival本来就可以表示一个时间，所以comes可以去掉。
3，For example,fish meat vegetables sweets and so on.这句话没有主谓结构，不是一个句子，不能单独成句，所以应该改为 ",such as fish,meat, vegetables, candy and so on." 加在前一句的后面。
4，Because all of the family members will return. 同第三点，不是一个独立的句子，不能单独成句，所以最好小写because使它成为前一个句子的原因状语从句。另外，return应该和一个具体的地点连用。这里不妨改为return home，或者换一种说法all family members will get together.
5，In the festival ,the children will put new clothes and maybe someone will get the gift--money;
festival在这里是一个表示时间段的概念，所以将in改为during。穿衣服用“put on”，但是这里是要强调一种状态，最好用wear。这一句话和后一句没有太大的并列关系，可以将分号改成句号。
6，On the eve of the festival some people watch special programmes and others will sing and dance until night.
some ....the others是对应的搭配。
7，But when it is 12 p.m.they will say Happy New Year to each other.
和前一句没有转折关系，可以不用but。when it is 12.pm可以用at12.pm表示（注:凌晨12点应该是12:00 am）.所以该句可以改为：They will say Happy New Year to each other at 12:00 am.
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提交人：
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tchzhangxj
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时间：
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5/27/2002 14:4:41
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